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Literature Devious Collection by ShiningSteel


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Submitted on
August 16, 2012
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i allowed the word to curl
against the ceiling of my mouth.
cradling the absence of a
storm that never came
roosting over rafters of a
note stretched far too long.
seeping through my teeth and
pulling moisture from the rain.

"fly"
I know it's not much, but school officially started back today and I just found out I have two novels to read this week. literally.
THIS WEEK. AS IS 7 FREAKING DAYS TO READ OVER 1000 PAGES OF WORDS.

pray for me :icononionsighplz:


Other poetry by me you may like:
Hello August  
Shuffling softly in the twilight of morning

blooming children once wandered along the drifting sidewalks

feeling only scattered freckles of broken sunlight

drip across their faces.

Rolls of fresh dew tumble down unraveled flowers

nestling gently in the corners of their toes.

They skid through puddled asphalt

soaking deep the buried harmonies beneath their cursive breath;

the taste of past summers still

steaming on their tongues.
Insomnia A miniature moon floats sleepily
atop my open window;
a drifting continent sifting
over shivering tree tops.
Watery clouds explore along the
broken crest of atoms,
fingers rolling in the shadows
of its dimensions.
My skewed sight steadily begins to
repaint the scattered stars and
one by one like raindrops,
they burst across the sky
Breathing down in thoughtful shafts
upon the inside of my eyelids.
I'm thankful to be an insomniac.
Listening For Inspiration Taste the breath of timid words
arising from my speech.
Dripping through my lips,
unfurling sails of poetry.

Catching wind of empty waves,
the words fall one by one.
They stoop the gentle break of day
and melt through river's run.

Curl beneath the shaded trees
and hide in hollowed rocks.
They topple through the spider's weave
and splash through bursting drops.

Sit behind the sunset
and before the rising skies,
dipping palms in Bluejay's songs
while frosting tearful eyes.

Complimenting purple streaks
across the orange noon.
Their silhouetting shadows casting
freckles for the moon.

Passing secret whispers
through the cu
reprise words tossed gently
on a spinning river top
sink as stones to rise again
and kiss the break of day.

resurface, ripple, and repeat.

(Yaayyy I finally figured out how to do the thumbnail thing!) :boogie:

Poem Sadee Esquivel
Add a Comment:
 
:iconwinterkate:
This is short and very sweet. I like the way you subtly begin using imagery and vocabulary related to the idea of flight and height right off the bat (curl against the ceiling, roosting over rafters). It primes the reader almost subconsciously for the...well, identity of the word makes it sound like a crime boss or superhero, but there you go. In addition, there's a lovely little piece of half-rhyme in came/rain that adds an excellent flow to the piece.
One thing that bothers me is that I do get of sense of hope that's already passed here with some imagery and hope that's being created with others. The use of the verb cradling, for instance, suggests hope that's been born, while note stretching far too long to me indicates a hope that's failing as it has not been realized. Then again, this may just be me. But I found my inability to pull a clear tone from this work significantly lowered my enjoyment of the piece and the impact which it had on me.
I'm not the writer. You could've meant the tone to come across as ambivalent. In addition, I'm only one reader. Others may disagree with my assessment. Still, while my word can be taken or left, I must say for the record that I really did like this piece, both for the uncommon brevity and for the powerful imagery used here.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
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:iconadagiobunny:
Adagiobunny Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Student Writer
never before have i heard a spoken word described so accurately. absolutely beautiful! :heart:
Reply
:iconholdthenoise:
HoldTheNoise Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!! I'm honored :iconbowplz:
Reply
:iconadagiobunny:
Adagiobunny Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Writer
aww, you're welcome. :)
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:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Absolutely amazing. I really really love your poem :love:
Reply
:iconholdthenoise:
HoldTheNoise Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!! :squee:
Reply
:icondgreymouser:
dgREYmOUSER Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
.. what a sweet write!! way cool! :)
Reply
:iconholdthenoise:
HoldTheNoise Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aww, thank you~~!! I'm glad you like it! :happybounce:
Reply
:iconmierren:
Mierren Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
haha! another good one as expected from you
Reply
:iconholdthenoise:
HoldTheNoise Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Pfftt x) Thank you~!!
Reply
:iconfalsewarrior:
falsewarrior Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You can do it
I read over 400 pages in about 4 days if i remember correctly
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