Marvelous writing. You have a way of creating vivid images that many writers lack. You've done an excellent job with this poem and I especially love the darkly glib note that you end on with "I imagine he's thankful to fly." Great work. Thanks for sharing.
Gah! I'm so sorry for the previous nonsense comment. I have trouble logging in from this computer and I thought clicking "add comment" would take me to a login page, which it did, but I didn;t think it would really post the comment too without asking me again. I really am sorry.
I love it! Great sense of imagery and powerful words used. Perhaps they rhythm could use work and maybe a teensy bit of rhyme or alliteration or something could be used to make it flow better. But it's still amazing!
Scarlet-LarkFeatured By OwnerJul 30, 2012Student General Artist
Wow, this is really beautiful, and I love the last stanza. You've used some of my favorite imagery, and have pulled me into a shadowed world in a most beautiful way. The only thing that I could suggest taking a look at is the third line of the second stanza. I'm assuming that it was meant to say "to perch upon an empty chest", but I am not sure. Overall, fantastic job, I really enjoyed this piece.